Okay, so I have waited a few days. Don't want to burn you all out on bloggimus. Dan and Ashley will tell you all in the following three blogs of Saturday, Monday and today. These two are amazing people! Brave, courageous, steadfast in love and endurance through hard times. It reminds me of the following verses:
Romans 8:31-39
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.
Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
As always we ask for your continued prayers. Our hearts are filled with gratitude to those who have helped Ashley with flying to and fro and helped me with meals (especially helpful on those Stanford travel days!) We know we are loved by God and by our friends and family.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You bless us and we in turn ask the Lord's greatest blessings upon you and yours.
saturday, february 13, 2010
Mighty
I spent the last hour reading a friend's blog about going to Rwanda and then following her link to the blog of a family who just adopted their second daughter from Taiwan. As I read both blogs, a jumble of emotions welled up within me.
Sadness: millions of children around the world need parents to love them, genocide has left a deep and seemingly impenetrable scar in the heart of Africa (among other countries), tragedy exists everywhere.
Jealousy: I long to open my home and heart to little ones in need of a family, but Dan's medical history disqualifies us from nearly all types of adoption.
Joy: God worked through the Biola girls in Rwanda to love His children; another child has a home.
Frustration: Why isn't God doing more for His children? Why allow genocide? Why allow cancer?
Hope: God is working in the lives of those who are hurting--from orphans to nursing students to Dan.
Excitement: What is God doing in my life to make me better suited to His purposes?
Fear: What is God doing in my life to make me better suited to His purposes?
Peace: No matter what goes on in my life (or around the world), God is in control. I may struggle against so many circumstances and beg for them to change, but there is peace in knowing that God already knows what is happening and what will happen. What's more, He knows why everything happens.
Reading those blogs also reminded me that I have a blog to update, though this won't be much of an update. Today has simply been another day of pressing onward. Dan hasn't vomited in 2 whole days, but is still frustrated with some GI stuff. His drains seem to have decreased a bit today, but they are still 4 times as high as before the surgeon pulled them out a bit. It is so discouraging to see those drains fill up each day, as it pushes Dan's eventual eating further and further away. Additionally, the drains have begun to let out a new odor from being in so long. Pain has been more of an issue the last couple of days, but Dan just pushes through. We even took a trip to Target today--it seemed short to me, but completely wiped Dan out.
My parents and grandpa made a trip to Lodi to deliver some goodies left over from Christmas and just to visit. We loved seeing them and having more friendly faces around. Yet, my heart hurts when we all sit down to dinner and Dan can't eat. He read at the table while we ate, but it must be miserable to watch everyone do something that he has been longing to do for almost a month now.
I find myself getting more and more frustrated lately. It seems like this will never end: the drains will drain forever, the wound will stay open for a long time, Dan will be on TPN indefinitely, Dan will have to stay in Lodi forever, etc. I know these things aren't true, but it sure does feel like it. What's more, the nervous questions are plaguing my mind more and more: the doctor said pulling on the drains would help--why has it made it worse? Is there something wrong with the placement? Did the drains pull open another hole? Why isn't Dan healing? Will Dan need extra surgery to fix the leak? Will Dan miss my graduation? Will we live apart until then? The questions go on and on without answers. Hopefully, most of them are of the paranoid nurse/wife type.
We so very badly need progress right now. We need to know that Dan is moving toward healing. We need to know that things are getting better soon.
We are discouraged, to say the least.
Yet, God is mighty on His throne. He knows all the answers, and He knows why Dan is going through all of this. Somehow, all of this is molding us to be more like Christ, so to shine His light more clearly. God is mighty whether or not things go our way or not. Yet, He also calls on us to cry out to Him in our times of need.
Lord God, hear our prayers for healing tonight. Draw us close to You. Touch Dan's body with Your power and mercy. Give us rest, oh God. We are weary and scared.
Prayer Requests:
* Drain stoppage (sudden and immediate and exciting and miraculous)
* Wound healing
* Endurance
* Incredible progress in the next few days
* Wisdom for scheduling matters
* Good news and encouragement
* The ability for Dan to be in La Mirada very soon (confidence for the surgeon)
monday, february 15, 2010
V-Day? How about VD-Day
So Valentine's Day has come and gone; making plans for 2-14 is a little more difficult when eating is not on the menu and going somewhere takes more effort than usual. But we managed to have a little date night on the couch and wrote each other sappy love notes, and it will be logged in Valentine's history as a decent run. So we're looking forward to next year.
VD-Day is what we're really looking forward to. For those of you who have forgotten about World War II, VE-Day was Victory in Europe, VJ-Day was Victory in Japan, and VD-Day is Victory over Drains. As of right now, they're still pumping out way too much. They are being bad drains. Bad drains! It's really frustrating, because they were down to around 40 total mL per day, and now they're running at over 200 total per day. Maybe that would have happened anytime the drains were moved- which would be bad if I was leaking and didn't have the drains in. Speculation. The point is, we're sick of this war. Sometimes I wish I had been Switzerland and just stayed home. But, I am where I am, and now I have to get better. Tomorrow, we're going to Stanford and maybe figuring out just what that entails. Will I need another scan? Another surgery? Or more waiting?
Well, my wound is healing. Still a long way out, but at this point, slow and steady wins the race. When it gets to the point where the wound vac comes off and there's just gauze covering it, I will consider that a huge victory. My drains had BETTER be done by then. Or else. Grrr.
I know I have many blessings to count, so it's not the worst thing in the world, but it is entirely frustrating. Please pray for VD-Day. To come soon. Like now. Which you have been doing. And I thank you all.
Dan
Posted by Dan and Ashley at 10:53 AM
tuesday, february 16, 2010
Maybe next week?
Another day of doctor's appointments is finished. The visit with McGreeky seemed optimistic, though it was very painful for Dan. As the last "let's pull on the drains a bit and watch them go down" failed, the surgeon decided to try again today. He pulled a couple more inches out on each drains hoping that the suction would be removed from the anastomoses (holes in the connections of the pancreas and intestine). The drains had been pumping out so much over the weekend, that we can only hope the output goes down.
Also, we pressed McGreeky about getting Dan home to La Mirada. Maybe my argument with him last week did something (or maybe everyone's prayers), but he's thinking Dan can go home next week. Basically, he's uncomfortable with Dan being far away on TPN (not sure why, but whatever), so wants the drain to go down more over this week, let Dan eat real food for a few days and watch the drains. Sounds familiar, right? Dan was awesome about asking for clarifications--what will keep him from going home early next week? Dan getting sick.
So, the big prayer for now: keep Dan from getting sick! No fever, no infection, no pus from the drains (sorry, gross).
All of us want Dan to go home to La Mirada, especially him and me. It's really about time, right? Please press in with prayer that things go on schedule and on-target this week.
I'm flying back to LA this afternoon and then back up on Thursday night. Dan and I will spend the weekend getting things together and making plans as to how to make life work out in LA. I'll drive my car down to LA on Sunday afternoon and wait patiently (ha) to hear how the appointment goes on Monday morning. I have a sneaky suspicion that McGreeky will try some stall maneuvers on to keep Dan up here, but hopefully Dan and Jamie can hand back the heat. I hate not being there for the appointment, but school beckons.
Keep praying, friends.
Prayer Requests:
* Decrease in drain output
* NO INFECTION
* Pain control for pulling on the drains
* Ability to tolerate food this weekend
* Dan going home early next week!
* Endurance and energy for all my travelling this week
* Safe travels for everyone
Posted by Dan and Ashley at 1:50 PM
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday
From the mom: I think Dan is improving, slowly steadily and with" the medicine" from Ashley's presence, he really improves. Now as before we need to pray for the drainage to CEASE and eating to begin. We are going to see the doctor on Tuesday and encourage him to allow Dan to head south to LA so he can be home "home" in La Mirada. I think he will do fine there and still be able to come north for his appointments as necessary. Then again, we all seem to be learning "patience", a good virtue and a fruit of the Spirit, though a difficult characteristic to willingly embrace.
Col 1:9-12
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,
so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,
giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.
From Dan:
friday, february 12, 2010
Too cool for a title
So-- you may have noticed that I didn't blog on Wednesday OR Thursday. That's because not much happened on Wednesday. And Thursday, I was just not in the mood. Thursday morning, we went to get Ash from the airport, then scooted over to Stanford for an appointment. What they did was injected some contrast through my drains and took X-rays to see if they were draining from my pancreas or a collection of fluid elsewhere in my body (we were rooting for pancreas). Turns out it was indeed coming from my pancreas. Surprisingly, my doctor decided to pull my drains out a couple inches right then and there. This was a surprise because he had told both Ash and I on separate occasions that he would wait until he saw me on Tuesday. Oh well, I thought--better sooner than later.
Turns out it hurt a significant amount. Also turns out I didn't bring my pain meds with me because I didn't think he'd do the drains. Stupid.
I made it home ok, then took some pain meds. I still felt crummy though, so blogging wasn't first on my mind. I did have a nice ending to my day though. Ash and I had our weekly TV date upstairs all by ourselves (Bones, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice). It was so refreshing to have time alone with my wife- that's how we normally live, and I think that's how it's supposed to be done. We even fell asleep together during Private Practice (which I don't mind at all- I only watch Grey's and Private Practice because Ash likes them). Finally, we went to bed and -- miracle of miracles -- we both slept through the night! We've been praying for that for a while and it felt really good. Hallelujah.
One thing that dampened our day was the doctor's estimation of how long I would be in Lodi. He didn't talk to me, so I don't remember the details, but it's longer than we wanted. He is cautious. But he also changes his mind based on circumstances; if the drains really dip down (like they should eventually- though right now they are pumping out extra because of the pulling), maybe the date will be moved up. But we'll have to see what happens and I'll have to push for it.
My wound looks better today. It's noticeably smaller than before. I hope it heals faster than expected. That would be awesome.
Today, Ash is trying to get me to be more active; going on more walks, going upstairs, and my first shower in a loooooong time. Please continue to pray for healing of the wound and stoppage of the drains. You guys are awesome.
Dan
Col 1:9-12
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,
so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,
giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.
From Dan:
friday, february 12, 2010
Too cool for a title
So-- you may have noticed that I didn't blog on Wednesday OR Thursday. That's because not much happened on Wednesday. And Thursday, I was just not in the mood. Thursday morning, we went to get Ash from the airport, then scooted over to Stanford for an appointment. What they did was injected some contrast through my drains and took X-rays to see if they were draining from my pancreas or a collection of fluid elsewhere in my body (we were rooting for pancreas). Turns out it was indeed coming from my pancreas. Surprisingly, my doctor decided to pull my drains out a couple inches right then and there. This was a surprise because he had told both Ash and I on separate occasions that he would wait until he saw me on Tuesday. Oh well, I thought--better sooner than later.
Turns out it hurt a significant amount. Also turns out I didn't bring my pain meds with me because I didn't think he'd do the drains. Stupid.
I made it home ok, then took some pain meds. I still felt crummy though, so blogging wasn't first on my mind. I did have a nice ending to my day though. Ash and I had our weekly TV date upstairs all by ourselves (Bones, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice). It was so refreshing to have time alone with my wife- that's how we normally live, and I think that's how it's supposed to be done. We even fell asleep together during Private Practice (which I don't mind at all- I only watch Grey's and Private Practice because Ash likes them). Finally, we went to bed and -- miracle of miracles -- we both slept through the night! We've been praying for that for a while and it felt really good. Hallelujah.
One thing that dampened our day was the doctor's estimation of how long I would be in Lodi. He didn't talk to me, so I don't remember the details, but it's longer than we wanted. He is cautious. But he also changes his mind based on circumstances; if the drains really dip down (like they should eventually- though right now they are pumping out extra because of the pulling), maybe the date will be moved up. But we'll have to see what happens and I'll have to push for it.
My wound looks better today. It's noticeably smaller than before. I hope it heals faster than expected. That would be awesome.
Today, Ash is trying to get me to be more active; going on more walks, going upstairs, and my first shower in a loooooong time. Please continue to pray for healing of the wound and stoppage of the drains. You guys are awesome.
Dan
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Life & love @ 18 months
1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
tuesday, february 9, 2010
I love my wife
One year, six months--feels like so much longer. In a good way. I love my wife.
On the Dan front, not much news. The drains are pretty low, which is good, so maybe (by the end of the week?) I can eat. That's being really optimistic. But you know what? I am really tired of TPN, drains, and all that comes with it. Once I can eat properly, all I will have left to worry about is my wound vac. That brings my list of healthcare items from 29873 to 1. It feels like that anyway. The next real news will come on Thursday. Or Friday. Eh, it'll come when it comes. I may not blog tomorrow. You guys will understand, right? Good. Anyway... still here. Still waiting. Still praying.
Dan
Posted by Dan and Ashley at 8:16 PM 0 comments
Happy 18-monthiversary!
Yes, I do realize that the above is not a real word. Yet, today is a year and a half since Dan and I got married, and I feel somewhat proud of that. Though, there are many things that have happened in the past 18 months that neither of us would have liked to happen, we have made it through those things together. Even now, when we are apart, we are pressing onward as one. Sometimes, I wish I could take some of the pain or vomiting or something so that Dan could feel better (sometimes, I think he would let me have it!). Yet, all I can do is support him in whatever way I can.
In a way, finishing nursing school is something I can do to support our little family of two. The sooner I am a nurse, the sooner we can move out of LA. Additionally, having a steady income will help Dan finish school in a timely manner, so that we can have two incomes. Though neither of us are under the impression that we will be rich, we cannot wait to be able to settle down wherever God wants us. Someday, we'd like to worry about normal marriage stuff: a house, children, traveling, investments, missions, the drapes, etc. (Maybe not about the drapes).
So, in the next year and a half of marriage, we have a couple goals: get rid of this cancer crap and get Dan whole AND be finished with school to be doing what God has called us to do. Of course, we have learned to remain very flexible in our "plans" because God decides to change them here and there.
Here's to many more monthi/anniversaries! I love you, Dan.
(For those of you concerned with lack of mention of Dan's health, I'm letting him update on another blog later because I'm not there to know all of what is going on. This parenthetical addition will irritate my hubby because he isn't too fond of blogging, but I'll just bat my eyelashes and pretend he can see them over the phone tonight.)
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
tuesday, february 9, 2010
I love my wife
One year, six months--feels like so much longer. In a good way. I love my wife.
On the Dan front, not much news. The drains are pretty low, which is good, so maybe (by the end of the week?) I can eat. That's being really optimistic. But you know what? I am really tired of TPN, drains, and all that comes with it. Once I can eat properly, all I will have left to worry about is my wound vac. That brings my list of healthcare items from 29873 to 1. It feels like that anyway. The next real news will come on Thursday. Or Friday. Eh, it'll come when it comes. I may not blog tomorrow. You guys will understand, right? Good. Anyway... still here. Still waiting. Still praying.
Dan
Posted by Dan and Ashley at 8:16 PM 0 comments
Happy 18-monthiversary!
Yes, I do realize that the above is not a real word. Yet, today is a year and a half since Dan and I got married, and I feel somewhat proud of that. Though, there are many things that have happened in the past 18 months that neither of us would have liked to happen, we have made it through those things together. Even now, when we are apart, we are pressing onward as one. Sometimes, I wish I could take some of the pain or vomiting or something so that Dan could feel better (sometimes, I think he would let me have it!). Yet, all I can do is support him in whatever way I can.
In a way, finishing nursing school is something I can do to support our little family of two. The sooner I am a nurse, the sooner we can move out of LA. Additionally, having a steady income will help Dan finish school in a timely manner, so that we can have two incomes. Though neither of us are under the impression that we will be rich, we cannot wait to be able to settle down wherever God wants us. Someday, we'd like to worry about normal marriage stuff: a house, children, traveling, investments, missions, the drapes, etc. (Maybe not about the drapes).
So, in the next year and a half of marriage, we have a couple goals: get rid of this cancer crap and get Dan whole AND be finished with school to be doing what God has called us to do. Of course, we have learned to remain very flexible in our "plans" because God decides to change them here and there.
Here's to many more monthi/anniversaries! I love you, Dan.
(For those of you concerned with lack of mention of Dan's health, I'm letting him update on another blog later because I'm not there to know all of what is going on. This parenthetical addition will irritate my hubby because he isn't too fond of blogging, but I'll just bat my eyelashes and pretend he can see them over the phone tonight.)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday night
Here are the last 2 blogs from Dan the Man himself! So you will catch up on the goings on around here. Even though he is home, it is a busy time, but we are all so glad he is here and not in the hospital anymore!!! Hallelujah. We praise the Lord for His goodness to us, every day, all the time.
Let those who delight in my righteousness
shout for joy and be glad
and say evermore,
“Great is the Lord,
who delights in the welfare of his servant!”
Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness
and of your praise all the day long.
Psalm 35;27-28
monday, february 8, 2010
How did I start blogging this frequently?
I'm going to blame the wife. She started this blog, knowing full-well that I didn't want to blog every day. Then she used it as a way for people to follow me through my epic journey through the hospital, and then she bats her eyes at me and says, 'can you blog tonight?' and I say 'fine.'
So today started pretty poorly. I threw up a couple times because my stomach is weaker and my gag reflex goes off more than I'd like. And the horrid part is, the first time I actually hit Ashley with some of it. She's a trooper, though. She cleaned up in spite of her being really tired from nights that don't contain 100% sleep. She's amazing. Anyway, my mom, Ashley, and I went to Stanford for a follow-up with McGreeky (she also made this silly name based on *gag* Grey's Anatomy) (I'm ok, by the way--not throwing up). Not much news there, except he said that he wants me to go to radiology on Friday so they can inject some contrast into my drains, take an X-ray, and see from where the drains are receiving their fluid (the pancreas itself or a separate fluid collection). Then my next appointment (next Tuesday), he wants to pull out the drains about an inch (I believe depending on the results of the radiology thing).
Speaking of the drains, one had been spouting out way too much fluid, while the other was quite tame. This morning when we emptied them, the spouter had dropped down almost to the level of the tame one! As of right now, they are still both pretty quiet. This is a good sign. I like good signs.
It's weird to be cold more than I am used to. We took Ashley to the airport today so she could attend some more classes (another reason I am blogging--probably the most significant one). When I got out, I forgot to have my sweatshirt on (I was not cold in the car and it wasn't that cold when we left), and all of a sudden, I felt like a shivering chihuahua. Ridiculous. I want my drains to dry up so I can eat again so I can put on weight so I won't be a shivering chihuahua. Also to help my skin not be so dry because I am slightly dehydrated.
I press on. We press on. This will not be forever. It sucks right now. But we're walking with God through it, and He won't abandon us.
Pray for
DRAIN STOPPAGE
ability to not throw up
rest for Ash
rest for me
wisdom of the doctors
physical stability so I can return to SoCal
sunday, february 7, 2010
Super Sunday
Not as high-scoring as everyone thought, but I do remember that the Colts' last Super Bowl win was won on defense, not offense. This time, the game was won by New Orleans by not their offense, not their defense, not their special teams, but by the coaching staff. If you're going to beat the Colts, here's what you do: don't give Peyton Manning the ball. In the 2nd quarter, the Colts ran only 6 plays, and 3 of them were conservative runs to avoid a safety or turnover deep in their own end. Then, at the beginning of the half, the Saints surprisingly onside kicked it and got it, once again, not giving Manning the ball. Sure, it really helped that they picked off a pass in the 4th quarter and ran it back for a TD, but that was not a game-ender. Yes, I wanted the Colts, but I'm not too disappointed with the results; the Saints earned it and deserved it. Anyway, it was a good game, in spite of mostly disappointing commercials and a really annoying Saints fan who felt it necessary to bring a tambourine to the game and bang it before every Colts play. Oh, and I hate CBS. Stands for Creativity's Been Sapped. And the Who put on a show that was awesome at some parts and sloppy at others. It may be time to put some youth back on stage for the halftime show.
So- my drains might be going back down? It's hard to tell. They're more than I'd like, to be sure. I'd love so much to be able to eat. This was the first time in a while where I didn't go to a proper Super Bowl party, but I don't think I would have really liked being around all that food without being able to eat it. I'm getting really tired of being hooked up to things all the time. I'm glad to be out of the hospital, but I'm still frustrated being tied down to my wound vac and my TPN. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow at Stanford; he had mentioned before that he might pull out the drains, which might be helpful to slow them down (because they may be sucking more than catching). Ashley unfortunately leaves tomorrow evening to return Thursday morning. I will miss her. She's been super helpful and she's a little piece of real home. But nursing school calls. She's going to be an amazing nurse. She already is; just missing her license. I'm a little tired. Sleep comes easier here but it still doesn't come easy.
Pray for:
Drain Stoppage! Now!
Good doctor visit
Safe travels to LA for Ash
Wound healing
Let those who delight in my righteousness
shout for joy and be glad
and say evermore,
“Great is the Lord,
who delights in the welfare of his servant!”
Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness
and of your praise all the day long.
Psalm 35;27-28
monday, february 8, 2010
How did I start blogging this frequently?
I'm going to blame the wife. She started this blog, knowing full-well that I didn't want to blog every day. Then she used it as a way for people to follow me through my epic journey through the hospital, and then she bats her eyes at me and says, 'can you blog tonight?' and I say 'fine.'
So today started pretty poorly. I threw up a couple times because my stomach is weaker and my gag reflex goes off more than I'd like. And the horrid part is, the first time I actually hit Ashley with some of it. She's a trooper, though. She cleaned up in spite of her being really tired from nights that don't contain 100% sleep. She's amazing. Anyway, my mom, Ashley, and I went to Stanford for a follow-up with McGreeky (she also made this silly name based on *gag* Grey's Anatomy) (I'm ok, by the way--not throwing up). Not much news there, except he said that he wants me to go to radiology on Friday so they can inject some contrast into my drains, take an X-ray, and see from where the drains are receiving their fluid (the pancreas itself or a separate fluid collection). Then my next appointment (next Tuesday), he wants to pull out the drains about an inch (I believe depending on the results of the radiology thing).
Speaking of the drains, one had been spouting out way too much fluid, while the other was quite tame. This morning when we emptied them, the spouter had dropped down almost to the level of the tame one! As of right now, they are still both pretty quiet. This is a good sign. I like good signs.
It's weird to be cold more than I am used to. We took Ashley to the airport today so she could attend some more classes (another reason I am blogging--probably the most significant one). When I got out, I forgot to have my sweatshirt on (I was not cold in the car and it wasn't that cold when we left), and all of a sudden, I felt like a shivering chihuahua. Ridiculous. I want my drains to dry up so I can eat again so I can put on weight so I won't be a shivering chihuahua. Also to help my skin not be so dry because I am slightly dehydrated.
I press on. We press on. This will not be forever. It sucks right now. But we're walking with God through it, and He won't abandon us.
Pray for
DRAIN STOPPAGE
ability to not throw up
rest for Ash
rest for me
wisdom of the doctors
physical stability so I can return to SoCal
sunday, february 7, 2010
Super Sunday
Not as high-scoring as everyone thought, but I do remember that the Colts' last Super Bowl win was won on defense, not offense. This time, the game was won by New Orleans by not their offense, not their defense, not their special teams, but by the coaching staff. If you're going to beat the Colts, here's what you do: don't give Peyton Manning the ball. In the 2nd quarter, the Colts ran only 6 plays, and 3 of them were conservative runs to avoid a safety or turnover deep in their own end. Then, at the beginning of the half, the Saints surprisingly onside kicked it and got it, once again, not giving Manning the ball. Sure, it really helped that they picked off a pass in the 4th quarter and ran it back for a TD, but that was not a game-ender. Yes, I wanted the Colts, but I'm not too disappointed with the results; the Saints earned it and deserved it. Anyway, it was a good game, in spite of mostly disappointing commercials and a really annoying Saints fan who felt it necessary to bring a tambourine to the game and bang it before every Colts play. Oh, and I hate CBS. Stands for Creativity's Been Sapped. And the Who put on a show that was awesome at some parts and sloppy at others. It may be time to put some youth back on stage for the halftime show.
So- my drains might be going back down? It's hard to tell. They're more than I'd like, to be sure. I'd love so much to be able to eat. This was the first time in a while where I didn't go to a proper Super Bowl party, but I don't think I would have really liked being around all that food without being able to eat it. I'm getting really tired of being hooked up to things all the time. I'm glad to be out of the hospital, but I'm still frustrated being tied down to my wound vac and my TPN. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow at Stanford; he had mentioned before that he might pull out the drains, which might be helpful to slow them down (because they may be sucking more than catching). Ashley unfortunately leaves tomorrow evening to return Thursday morning. I will miss her. She's been super helpful and she's a little piece of real home. But nursing school calls. She's going to be an amazing nurse. She already is; just missing her license. I'm a little tired. Sleep comes easier here but it still doesn't come easy.
Pray for:
Drain Stoppage! Now!
Good doctor visit
Safe travels to LA for Ash
Wound healing
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Home sweet home! Thank God Almighty!
Even though this is not Dan and Ashley's official home of La Mirada, it sure beats Stanford Hospital. Bare feet, comfy surroundings, no one waking him up for vital signs. There is something to be said for just leaving the hospital! Thank You Lord!
Here are Ashley's own words from Friday and Saturday:
saturday, february 6, 2010
Life Beyond
The past 24 hours have been exhausting, yet the end result is that Dan is resting and recovering outside of the hospital. Finally.
The doctors did their part yesterday by changing the wound vac early in the morning and writing up all of the discharge orders before noon. The nurses did their part by gathering up extra supplies and teaching us what we need to know. The case manager did her part by setting up home health and ordering Dan's IV meds for home use. I did my part by packing up the room and getting our stuff ready. Jamie did her part by driving to the hospital and getting our stuff in the car. Dan did his part by simply being ready to go.
With everyone doing their part, how did we get home so late? The meds we had to take to Lodi got delivered an hour late and the transporter found other things to occupy his time. Then, when finally in the car and driving, we got caught in terrible traffic. I mean terrible.
So, around 8 o'clock, we finally pulled onto Vienna Drive. It must have felt weird for Dan to be somewhere new for the first time in a month. Good weird.
We then proceeded to unload all of our supplies while waiting for Dan's home health nurse to arrive. Toni arrived at 10pm to begin the TPN and teach us how to use the new pump. The pump then proceeded not to work. Dan finally got TPN started at 11pm.
What next? We went to bed--together for the first time in a month! Expecting to have a lovely night of sleep compared to the hospital, we quickly discovered that medical equipment often refuses to cooperate and things do not go as planned. Dan's wound vac detected a leak in the suction seal, so it alarmed every 5 minutes or so unless we were holding the suction portion down. The "tug-boat" sound also proceeded to get louder.
Our night looked like this: bed at midnight, blood sugar check at 2 (he needed insulin but we didn't have a sliding scale), wound vac alarm at 3 (we tried repositioning first), wound vac alarm at 4 (the next hour was spent on the phone with the home health agency as I tried to fix the seal), wound vac alarm at 5:30, blood sugar check at 7, wound vac alarm at 7:30, medication at 8, dozing until 9:30 when home health agency called, new nurse showed up at 11 to fix wound vac...quiet for the first time in 12 hours. With all this waking up, we should have a baby around!
All that being said, it is nice to be home. We could sleep at least close together, lounge in our pjs, visit with friends and set our own schedule. As of now, I have gotten half of my homework done while Dan is catching up on some sleep. Though, it's med time, so I better wake him up soon.
Being a home health "nurse" will be interesting, as I'm doing things I'm used to just in different ways. TPN at night will be the biggest production, so I hope I do that appropriately tonight (first time without the nurse). Octreotide IVP every eight hours, blood sugar checks every 6 hours (Dan does these), empty JPs 2-3 times a day, etc. Thankfully, Dan's mom will step in to help Dan out when I go back to school. We can obviously handle being nurses, but it sure will be nice to go back to being "mom" and "wife"!
We are so thankful for all the support we have and that God has brought Dan this far. Please continue to pray for good news and confidence at Monday's doctor appointment.
Prayer Requests:
* Drying up of the drains (they've been changing colors a lot lately and not decreasing much, so this is a huge prayer)
* Continued wound healing
* No more problems with the IV pump or wound vac
* Sleep-filled nights
* Ability for Dan to go home to La Mirada very soon
* God's glory to be visible in this trial
* Focus so I can be a "nurse" and a student
Praise:
* Dan's out of the hospital!
* Great home health nurses
* Insurance coverage
* Flexible teachers at Biola
* God's grace is new every morning
Posted by Dan and Ashley at 3:50 PM 0 comments
friday, february 5, 2010
Out
Dan is out of the hospital. Got out about 5:08p and drove through horrific traffic. Made it to Lodi around 8p. Now, we're waiting for the home health nurse to arrive.
It has been a long day, but a good day.
We are surrounded by home health supplies and are pretty wiped out.
Check back tomorrow for the extended version of today.
We have work to do...then sleep to sleep...together!
Prayer Requests:
* Drying up of the drains
* Quick learning for all of us doing home health
* Expedited wound healing
* Only needing home health for a short period of time
* Dan being able to go home to La Mirada with me...soon!
Psalm 105:1-4
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him;
tell of all his wondrous works!
Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!
Seek the Lord and his strength;
seek his presence continually!
Here are Ashley's own words from Friday and Saturday:
saturday, february 6, 2010
Life Beyond
The past 24 hours have been exhausting, yet the end result is that Dan is resting and recovering outside of the hospital. Finally.
The doctors did their part yesterday by changing the wound vac early in the morning and writing up all of the discharge orders before noon. The nurses did their part by gathering up extra supplies and teaching us what we need to know. The case manager did her part by setting up home health and ordering Dan's IV meds for home use. I did my part by packing up the room and getting our stuff ready. Jamie did her part by driving to the hospital and getting our stuff in the car. Dan did his part by simply being ready to go.
With everyone doing their part, how did we get home so late? The meds we had to take to Lodi got delivered an hour late and the transporter found other things to occupy his time. Then, when finally in the car and driving, we got caught in terrible traffic. I mean terrible.
So, around 8 o'clock, we finally pulled onto Vienna Drive. It must have felt weird for Dan to be somewhere new for the first time in a month. Good weird.
We then proceeded to unload all of our supplies while waiting for Dan's home health nurse to arrive. Toni arrived at 10pm to begin the TPN and teach us how to use the new pump. The pump then proceeded not to work. Dan finally got TPN started at 11pm.
What next? We went to bed--together for the first time in a month! Expecting to have a lovely night of sleep compared to the hospital, we quickly discovered that medical equipment often refuses to cooperate and things do not go as planned. Dan's wound vac detected a leak in the suction seal, so it alarmed every 5 minutes or so unless we were holding the suction portion down. The "tug-boat" sound also proceeded to get louder.
Our night looked like this: bed at midnight, blood sugar check at 2 (he needed insulin but we didn't have a sliding scale), wound vac alarm at 3 (we tried repositioning first), wound vac alarm at 4 (the next hour was spent on the phone with the home health agency as I tried to fix the seal), wound vac alarm at 5:30, blood sugar check at 7, wound vac alarm at 7:30, medication at 8, dozing until 9:30 when home health agency called, new nurse showed up at 11 to fix wound vac...quiet for the first time in 12 hours. With all this waking up, we should have a baby around!
All that being said, it is nice to be home. We could sleep at least close together, lounge in our pjs, visit with friends and set our own schedule. As of now, I have gotten half of my homework done while Dan is catching up on some sleep. Though, it's med time, so I better wake him up soon.
Being a home health "nurse" will be interesting, as I'm doing things I'm used to just in different ways. TPN at night will be the biggest production, so I hope I do that appropriately tonight (first time without the nurse). Octreotide IVP every eight hours, blood sugar checks every 6 hours (Dan does these), empty JPs 2-3 times a day, etc. Thankfully, Dan's mom will step in to help Dan out when I go back to school. We can obviously handle being nurses, but it sure will be nice to go back to being "mom" and "wife"!
We are so thankful for all the support we have and that God has brought Dan this far. Please continue to pray for good news and confidence at Monday's doctor appointment.
Prayer Requests:
* Drying up of the drains (they've been changing colors a lot lately and not decreasing much, so this is a huge prayer)
* Continued wound healing
* No more problems with the IV pump or wound vac
* Sleep-filled nights
* Ability for Dan to go home to La Mirada very soon
* God's glory to be visible in this trial
* Focus so I can be a "nurse" and a student
Praise:
* Dan's out of the hospital!
* Great home health nurses
* Insurance coverage
* Flexible teachers at Biola
* God's grace is new every morning
Posted by Dan and Ashley at 3:50 PM 0 comments
friday, february 5, 2010
Out
Dan is out of the hospital. Got out about 5:08p and drove through horrific traffic. Made it to Lodi around 8p. Now, we're waiting for the home health nurse to arrive.
It has been a long day, but a good day.
We are surrounded by home health supplies and are pretty wiped out.
Check back tomorrow for the extended version of today.
We have work to do...then sleep to sleep...together!
Prayer Requests:
* Drying up of the drains
* Quick learning for all of us doing home health
* Expedited wound healing
* Only needing home health for a short period of time
* Dan being able to go home to La Mirada with me...soon!
Psalm 105:1-4
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him;
tell of all his wondrous works!
Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!
Seek the Lord and his strength;
seek his presence continually!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Dan and Ashley write; I send; we all pray!
thursday, february 4, 2010
failblog- but not entirely
The food trial failed. My drains collected a lot more than usual, even when my eating was minimal. Perspective: last night, one drain put out 75mL in 8 hours; before the food trial, I was getting 40-50 combined for the whole day. Darn pancreas.
Now I'm back to NPO except water when I'm thirsty. I will have to go home on TPN; but the hidden gem of that sentence is that I'm going home. Tomorrow. That is sweet.
A few weeks ago, I had joked with Ashley that I had better go home before one extremely pregnant resident had her baby. She had her baby today. Fail.
So here's basically what life will look like at home (not my 'home' home, but my parents' home in Lodi--it's different once you're married):
TPN at night
Blood sugar checks about 4x/day
Wound vac changes 3x/week
PICC line dressing change once a week
NPO (no food)
Thankfully, no more IV meds
Weekly visits with the surgeon at Stanford (at least at first- frequency will probably go down after a while)
While I'm not really happy to be back on TPN, I know my pancreas isn't quite ready for food yet. Hopefully, the drains will dry up quickly like they did before when I was on TPN, and I won't have to be on it for too long. I'm not afraid of TPN really; I just want everything that is wrong to be righted, and I think the best way to do that is with TPN. Though it is far less fun.
This drain failure is a step back, but I am taking steps forward. It has been a long ordeal; it will be a little longer. Many of you have prayed for me; I would appreciate a continuation of that. I look forward to the day when I don't have to worry about my pancreas anymore. Until then...
Prayer requests:
Quick drying of the drains
Good healing of the wound
No return to the hospital (except for planned visits with the surgeon)
Ability to go home to La Mirada with Ashley
wednesday, february 3, 2010
Aggravation
When I was little, my mom and grandma used to play Aggravation with my brother and I. It's that marble game that you must go around and get your marbles home without getting knocked off by other players. Just when you think you're about to win, someone comes up and kicks you back to the beginning. The only word to describe the game: aggravating.
That is how this hospital stay is beginning to feel.
After such great news yesterday, Dan and I felt as though maybe we were really getting to the end of this long haul. Dan has been eating very small amounts since last night and the drains looked great...until 2 o'clock. While the last shift's 8-hr total was 12 cc, one drain put out 30 cc in two and a half hours. Shoot. The nurse is paging the doctor to see what he wants to do. Does this increase mean the end of the food trial? Could this be just a short spike before things get better? Will this delay going home? After finally being able to eat (due to very low drain output), Dan is frustrated to be faced with NPO status again.
We are waiting for the doctor's opinion before getting too gloomy, but we're pretty bummed.
As far as we know, if Dan fails this food trial, he will be sent home on Friday on TPN. Dan has come to terms with that and just wants to get home. I suppose we just don't want the disappointment of not being able to eat to be compounded by the disappointment of not going home on Friday. Going home with TPN is not the end of the world, but it will get old pretty fast. I'm just unsure how long Dan would have to be on TPN before doing another food trial. In fact, we are just unsure of a lot.
On a good note, I'm back with Dan. I fly out of Sacramento of Sunday night, so please pray he is home by then! I'll be back again on Tuesday night. I'll be an airport pro in no time. It's wonderful to be back in the same place, I just that same place could be not the hospital!
Prayer requests:
* Drain stoppage...no more increase!
* Wisdom for the doctors
* Continued wound healing
* Surprise "passing grade" in the food trial
* Home on Friday! (one month is enough)
* Joy through the frustration
* My ability to get my homework done while away from school
* Good news....great news...soon
Praises:
* Dan's eating
* Safe travels
* Wound healing (the wound vac change showed great improvement today!)
* The last six M&Ms in my bag were blue, green, yellow, orange, red, brown...on accident :)
Psalm 146
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord, O my soul.
I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
Do not put your trust in princes,
in mortal men, who cannot save.
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
the Lord, who remains faithful forever.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
the Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The Lord reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the Lord.
failblog- but not entirely
The food trial failed. My drains collected a lot more than usual, even when my eating was minimal. Perspective: last night, one drain put out 75mL in 8 hours; before the food trial, I was getting 40-50 combined for the whole day. Darn pancreas.
Now I'm back to NPO except water when I'm thirsty. I will have to go home on TPN; but the hidden gem of that sentence is that I'm going home. Tomorrow. That is sweet.
A few weeks ago, I had joked with Ashley that I had better go home before one extremely pregnant resident had her baby. She had her baby today. Fail.
So here's basically what life will look like at home (not my 'home' home, but my parents' home in Lodi--it's different once you're married):
TPN at night
Blood sugar checks about 4x/day
Wound vac changes 3x/week
PICC line dressing change once a week
NPO (no food)
Thankfully, no more IV meds
Weekly visits with the surgeon at Stanford (at least at first- frequency will probably go down after a while)
While I'm not really happy to be back on TPN, I know my pancreas isn't quite ready for food yet. Hopefully, the drains will dry up quickly like they did before when I was on TPN, and I won't have to be on it for too long. I'm not afraid of TPN really; I just want everything that is wrong to be righted, and I think the best way to do that is with TPN. Though it is far less fun.
This drain failure is a step back, but I am taking steps forward. It has been a long ordeal; it will be a little longer. Many of you have prayed for me; I would appreciate a continuation of that. I look forward to the day when I don't have to worry about my pancreas anymore. Until then...
Prayer requests:
Quick drying of the drains
Good healing of the wound
No return to the hospital (except for planned visits with the surgeon)
Ability to go home to La Mirada with Ashley
wednesday, february 3, 2010
Aggravation
When I was little, my mom and grandma used to play Aggravation with my brother and I. It's that marble game that you must go around and get your marbles home without getting knocked off by other players. Just when you think you're about to win, someone comes up and kicks you back to the beginning. The only word to describe the game: aggravating.
That is how this hospital stay is beginning to feel.
After such great news yesterday, Dan and I felt as though maybe we were really getting to the end of this long haul. Dan has been eating very small amounts since last night and the drains looked great...until 2 o'clock. While the last shift's 8-hr total was 12 cc, one drain put out 30 cc in two and a half hours. Shoot. The nurse is paging the doctor to see what he wants to do. Does this increase mean the end of the food trial? Could this be just a short spike before things get better? Will this delay going home? After finally being able to eat (due to very low drain output), Dan is frustrated to be faced with NPO status again.
We are waiting for the doctor's opinion before getting too gloomy, but we're pretty bummed.
As far as we know, if Dan fails this food trial, he will be sent home on Friday on TPN. Dan has come to terms with that and just wants to get home. I suppose we just don't want the disappointment of not being able to eat to be compounded by the disappointment of not going home on Friday. Going home with TPN is not the end of the world, but it will get old pretty fast. I'm just unsure how long Dan would have to be on TPN before doing another food trial. In fact, we are just unsure of a lot.
On a good note, I'm back with Dan. I fly out of Sacramento of Sunday night, so please pray he is home by then! I'll be back again on Tuesday night. I'll be an airport pro in no time. It's wonderful to be back in the same place, I just that same place could be not the hospital!
Prayer requests:
* Drain stoppage...no more increase!
* Wisdom for the doctors
* Continued wound healing
* Surprise "passing grade" in the food trial
* Home on Friday! (one month is enough)
* Joy through the frustration
* My ability to get my homework done while away from school
* Good news....great news...soon
Praises:
* Dan's eating
* Safe travels
* Wound healing (the wound vac change showed great improvement today!)
* The last six M&Ms in my bag were blue, green, yellow, orange, red, brown...on accident :)
Psalm 146
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord, O my soul.
I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
Do not put your trust in princes,
in mortal men, who cannot save.
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
the Lord, who remains faithful forever.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
the Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The Lord reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the Lord.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
chowing down!
Well not "chowing down" but Dan is eating at this very moment. Please pray that his drainage does NOT increase due to this eating activity. Praise that the drainage did not increase when he drank his 700cc+ CT contrast drink and the CT today looked good too. Ashley will be arriving at the airport in about an hour so the two lovebirds will be together and that will be GREAT medicine! We are hoping that if all goes well, Dan will be home FRIDAY! So please pray for a successful food challenge and discharge Friday. Know that you are so appreciated as you travel this journey with us! Keep praying.
Dan's last 2 blogs:
tuesday, february 2, 2010
He sets the prisoners free
I do feel a little bit like I'm in prison. The doctor even used the same metaphor this morning. However, he seemed to indicate that I'll be released soon. Read on for some good news.
I'm having a CT today. I had to drink the nasty contrast stuff again. The first time was torture, the second time was easy, this one was also hard. But I got enough to get me down to the CT, for which I am waiting now by blogging these words.
My drains went down again! This time to 40 (and just think: I used to be in the 200's!). There are a few factors involved, such as the CT results (is there excess fluid in my body where it's not supposed to be?) and the drain output (will it go up now that I have downed so much liquid?), but so far... it's looking like I'm eating tomorrow. Doc had said before that 30-40 was a good place to try food, while the other more experienced doc had said he wanted the drains dry first. So I guess we're going with the earlier plan. Should the drains maintain their low output (which would be SO excellent), I can go home with no TPN (which is SO excellent). Also, the team will pull back on the drains about an inch (did I mention this last time? I feel like I did), which could help even more with the drains. Maybe they'll do that anyway. On the other hand, if the drain output goes up, I'll go back on TPN for a little while.
But I'll be able to go home.
Basically, unless there is a new complication that is severely unstable, there won't be any deviation from the plan, and I can go home! Before the Super Bowl! I am excited.
Ashley comes back tonight. I'll need to take a nap later so I can be more than semi-awake when she arrives. Her teachers are being really nice to her and letting her use my eventual home-health care as part of a hodge-podge clinical. It sounds like things are really looking up.
Pray for:
NO DRAIN INCREASE!
No excess fluid on the CT
Going home on time
No drain increase :)
Safe plane trips for Ash
monday, february 1, 2010
February-- seriously?
February has come upon us already. I only had a week of 2010 outside of the hospital, so it feels like I not only had my liver resected, but also my January.
Still not getting great sleep in the hospital. I was proud of myself for being able to get myself in bed with everything in reach without any assistance. Usually, I climb into bed, and Ashley sets everything up (making sure things are plugged in and that I have necessary items on my tray). Without my wonderful helper, I still managed to do it. But that doesn't mean I don't miss her.
Drains are back down to a low rate (the drain increase from yesterday turned out to be an anomaly). Tomorrow, I'm having a CT to make sure there's no fluid floating freely where it ought not. Some time after that, the doctors want to pull back on my drains (pull them out an inch or two and monitor the drain situation). Sometimes, the drains can suck more than catch leaks when they're in deep, so pulling them out a little might actually help the pancreas to heal a little better.
After being in here so long, I have made getting home my top priority instead of eating. The upcoming food trial the doctor had mentioned excited me before, because eating is just fantastic. But-- I've been here too long. I'd rather go home with TPN and wait until the pancreas is healed nicely than fail a food trial and add a couple days to my stay. After so many extensions of my stay, I am determined to be out by the newest estimation: the end of this week. I do NOT want to watch the Super Bowl from the hospital. Imagine: close game, 4th quarter, and someone walks in to take vitals. No. No. A thousand times, no.
My mom's here today; we walked outside again to the fountains. I have found that using my cane as well as the IV pole (well, I could even do without the pole) works very nicely to keep me from wobbling back and forth when I walk. I miss my wife. I've talked to her a few times today, which is nice, but-- well, you married people know what I'm talking about. It's not the same.
Pray for the usuals:
drain stoppage
rest
wisdom for the doctors
Ash and I as we're separated for a few days
FREEDOM
And here is the psalm that has one of Dan's favorite verses, verse 14. If only I could achieve verse 14 in my life,I would be the happiest person!
Psalm 19
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Dan's last 2 blogs:
tuesday, february 2, 2010
He sets the prisoners free
I do feel a little bit like I'm in prison. The doctor even used the same metaphor this morning. However, he seemed to indicate that I'll be released soon. Read on for some good news.
I'm having a CT today. I had to drink the nasty contrast stuff again. The first time was torture, the second time was easy, this one was also hard. But I got enough to get me down to the CT, for which I am waiting now by blogging these words.
My drains went down again! This time to 40 (and just think: I used to be in the 200's!). There are a few factors involved, such as the CT results (is there excess fluid in my body where it's not supposed to be?) and the drain output (will it go up now that I have downed so much liquid?), but so far... it's looking like I'm eating tomorrow. Doc had said before that 30-40 was a good place to try food, while the other more experienced doc had said he wanted the drains dry first. So I guess we're going with the earlier plan. Should the drains maintain their low output (which would be SO excellent), I can go home with no TPN (which is SO excellent). Also, the team will pull back on the drains about an inch (did I mention this last time? I feel like I did), which could help even more with the drains. Maybe they'll do that anyway. On the other hand, if the drain output goes up, I'll go back on TPN for a little while.
But I'll be able to go home.
Basically, unless there is a new complication that is severely unstable, there won't be any deviation from the plan, and I can go home! Before the Super Bowl! I am excited.
Ashley comes back tonight. I'll need to take a nap later so I can be more than semi-awake when she arrives. Her teachers are being really nice to her and letting her use my eventual home-health care as part of a hodge-podge clinical. It sounds like things are really looking up.
Pray for:
NO DRAIN INCREASE!
No excess fluid on the CT
Going home on time
No drain increase :)
Safe plane trips for Ash
monday, february 1, 2010
February-- seriously?
February has come upon us already. I only had a week of 2010 outside of the hospital, so it feels like I not only had my liver resected, but also my January.
Still not getting great sleep in the hospital. I was proud of myself for being able to get myself in bed with everything in reach without any assistance. Usually, I climb into bed, and Ashley sets everything up (making sure things are plugged in and that I have necessary items on my tray). Without my wonderful helper, I still managed to do it. But that doesn't mean I don't miss her.
Drains are back down to a low rate (the drain increase from yesterday turned out to be an anomaly). Tomorrow, I'm having a CT to make sure there's no fluid floating freely where it ought not. Some time after that, the doctors want to pull back on my drains (pull them out an inch or two and monitor the drain situation). Sometimes, the drains can suck more than catch leaks when they're in deep, so pulling them out a little might actually help the pancreas to heal a little better.
After being in here so long, I have made getting home my top priority instead of eating. The upcoming food trial the doctor had mentioned excited me before, because eating is just fantastic. But-- I've been here too long. I'd rather go home with TPN and wait until the pancreas is healed nicely than fail a food trial and add a couple days to my stay. After so many extensions of my stay, I am determined to be out by the newest estimation: the end of this week. I do NOT want to watch the Super Bowl from the hospital. Imagine: close game, 4th quarter, and someone walks in to take vitals. No. No. A thousand times, no.
My mom's here today; we walked outside again to the fountains. I have found that using my cane as well as the IV pole (well, I could even do without the pole) works very nicely to keep me from wobbling back and forth when I walk. I miss my wife. I've talked to her a few times today, which is nice, but-- well, you married people know what I'm talking about. It's not the same.
Pray for the usuals:
drain stoppage
rest
wisdom for the doctors
Ash and I as we're separated for a few days
FREEDOM
And here is the psalm that has one of Dan's favorite verses, verse 14. If only I could achieve verse 14 in my life,I would be the happiest person!
Psalm 19
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
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