Saturday, June 30, 2007
Sat eve
Dan's bilirubin came down. No stent Monday. Thank you LORD God. We actually went to a football game and saw a friend make an 80 yd. TD. It was cool and Dan loves football. Marching orders: Keep praying. God is good. He loves and cares for us and you too.
Saturday 6.30
Woke up to a beautiful day. This is the day the Lord has made. We received a call from Dan's doc at Stanford and she wanted to repeat some blood work before placing the stent Monday. Dan's clinical situation (the way he looks and acts) is really not changed, so that is a good call. We got the blood work done and are awaiting the results. Dan's doctor is working very hard to figure this out and is not sure that the present diagnosis is the conclusive one (it actually was not a very conclusive one to begin with). Are you confused? I can understand why. So is everyone else. Needless to say, pray for all these brilliant doctors in Texas, Sacramento and Palo Alto to be open to the wisdom the Lord will give them. Only He knows the absolute truth. Only He knows how best to attack this medically. Pray for Dan. Pray for these wonderful doctors working on his case. Pray for us parents trying to help our beloved Dan navigate through this murky situation. Psalm 34 has been especially meaningful to us and in fact many people have been sending it to us as well and so we pass it along to you:
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned
The Lord redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned
The Lord redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.
Friday, June 29, 2007
dan's friday blog
My diagnosis has changed...again. I've always been unique, but really, I should eventually see if I could write an episode of House about myself. Maybe I should get the DVDs or something. Anyway, as before, this is only tentative, but now they're saying it's carcinoma, which is vague, because it could be a number of different things... anyway, it's just confusing right now.
The good news is, I'm going into Stanford for some tests and stuff on Monday, and they want to start chemo the next day (July 3rd). It's good to hear the ball's getting rolling.
But of course, everything is still tentative, so I'm not going deeper into anything else about that. By Tuesday, things will be more clear, and I will let you know when things become concrete.
God is good. He is working through this. I am excited to see what happens.
Dan
The good news is, I'm going into Stanford for some tests and stuff on Monday, and they want to start chemo the next day (July 3rd). It's good to hear the ball's getting rolling.
But of course, everything is still tentative, so I'm not going deeper into anything else about that. By Tuesday, things will be more clear, and I will let you know when things become concrete.
God is good. He is working through this. I am excited to see what happens.
Dan
friday's rollercoaster
hello my dear warriors, this has been a wild ride today. as jessica and i were going to stanford the dr. called and told me that dan does not have a neuroendocrine tumor. okay. he has a carcinoma of unknown origin. it was a good thing I went today because i met with the dr. just to discuss some issues and we looked at his last labs taken on tues. his bilirubin has increased mildly and they feel the tumor is pressing on his bile duct so they want to place a stent on monday before starting chemo on tuesday. in some ways there is a relief that we are moving on this and getting some chemo started. in other ways it has been hard to diagnose and i hope that the path is correct and we are going to see some progress in destroying this disease. we are also going to a church service sunday night and dan is going to be prayed for, for the LORD to heal him. will you please join in praying for that time. the service starts at 6:00pm PST. so pray with us for God's power and mercy to be poured out on
DANIEL CHRISTOPHER HOWEN. Christopher means "Christ bearer" and he certainly is holding the banner of Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) forth for all to see. Blessings to you all. Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and support.
DANIEL CHRISTOPHER HOWEN. Christopher means "Christ bearer" and he certainly is holding the banner of Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) forth for all to see. Blessings to you all. Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and support.
early friday
just a quick note ( yes I know i should be in bed) that today the LORD used many of you to encourage me, but none so great as Dan my son. What an honor to be his mom. Thank you Lord. What a privlege to be at his side and walk with him through this trial of fire. The 3 young men (Daniel Chapter 3) in the fiery funace escaped unhurt and unaffected by the smoke and fire. Their bonds were burned off and Jesus was walking around with them in the fire. And so too will be my Dan. Unscathed, unwavering in his faith and trust, desiring only more of God in his life. May I be found as faithful. May you too. God is preparing us for darker days ahead. We must learn to keep our eyes on Him, the Author and FInisher of our faith. Those of you reading this who do not yet believe in Yeshua (Jesus) the Messiah and glory of Israel and the light to the gentiles, please humble yourself before God and ask Him to reveal Himself to your heart. He will. He loves you with an everlasting love and desires to call you His child, and for you to call Him Abba, Daddy and to be with Him forever.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
and now his girlfriend speaks
How does he do this?
Category: Life
How does who do what? you might ask.
How does Dan handle this massive change in his life with such grace, patience and trust?
I mean seriously, sometimes, I cannot wrap my mind around how a 20 year old guy can carry himself through the trials of being diagnosed with cancer with such peace and calm. However, if I were to ask Dan (as I have) or actually think carefully, I have to come to the realization that Dan is not carrying himself through this. Instead, God is holding firmly onto his hand, and Dan is more than happy to simply allow God to lead him on.
In the past week, my life and Dan's life and the lives of all his family members have been turned upside down. Yet, I have discovered that hidden in this process (that is only just beginning) are blessings too numerous to count...
I have watched as the guy I love has proved himself to be one of the strongest men of God I have been privileged to know.
I have been reminded of how little I am in control of my life or anyone else's life.
I have been forced to cling to God with all my might.
Would I have rather been taught or shown these things in a less life-threatening way? Of course. Yet, I know God knows me better than I know myself, and He does all things for the good of those who love Him.
To be honest, I have a sneaky suspicion that God has a few miracles ready for Dan and the Howens. However, I also have a suspicion that He has other purposes to fulfill in this process.
In the mean time, I am going to learn to be patient (why does God keep deciding I need more patience!?). Romans 8:25 reminds me that if we wait for what we do not yet have, we have to wait for patiently. That's alright. God is good...all the time.
As far as updates about Dan go...
We still don't know exactly what the cancer is, though doctors are leaning more toward it being neuroendocrine cancer. After an appointment at Stanford, we're getting closer to a diagnosis and closer to starting treatment. He might even start treatment next week. Right now, it is still a waiting game.
Please pray for wisdom for the doctors for which treatment to use.
Pray for rest for Dan's parents. They sure do need it.
Pray for a deepening trust in God.
Oh yeah, and pray for a miracle!
Category: Life
How does who do what? you might ask.
How does Dan handle this massive change in his life with such grace, patience and trust?
I mean seriously, sometimes, I cannot wrap my mind around how a 20 year old guy can carry himself through the trials of being diagnosed with cancer with such peace and calm. However, if I were to ask Dan (as I have) or actually think carefully, I have to come to the realization that Dan is not carrying himself through this. Instead, God is holding firmly onto his hand, and Dan is more than happy to simply allow God to lead him on.
In the past week, my life and Dan's life and the lives of all his family members have been turned upside down. Yet, I have discovered that hidden in this process (that is only just beginning) are blessings too numerous to count...
I have watched as the guy I love has proved himself to be one of the strongest men of God I have been privileged to know.
I have been reminded of how little I am in control of my life or anyone else's life.
I have been forced to cling to God with all my might.
Would I have rather been taught or shown these things in a less life-threatening way? Of course. Yet, I know God knows me better than I know myself, and He does all things for the good of those who love Him.
To be honest, I have a sneaky suspicion that God has a few miracles ready for Dan and the Howens. However, I also have a suspicion that He has other purposes to fulfill in this process.
In the mean time, I am going to learn to be patient (why does God keep deciding I need more patience!?). Romans 8:25 reminds me that if we wait for what we do not yet have, we have to wait for patiently. That's alright. God is good...all the time.
As far as updates about Dan go...
We still don't know exactly what the cancer is, though doctors are leaning more toward it being neuroendocrine cancer. After an appointment at Stanford, we're getting closer to a diagnosis and closer to starting treatment. He might even start treatment next week. Right now, it is still a waiting game.
Please pray for wisdom for the doctors for which treatment to use.
Pray for rest for Dan's parents. They sure do need it.
Pray for a deepening trust in God.
Oh yeah, and pray for a miracle!
an amazing young man
this is dan's blog today from his myspace:
i will forward any email to him:
rjhowen@sbcglobal.net
or our address:
1008 vienna dr, lodi, ca 95242
read and be challenged, i know i am
Insight into my life right now
Current mood: excited
Category: Life
God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.
Do you ever go to bed at night, but then your brain decides not to let you sleep because you're thinking too much, and you're thinking to yourself, 'I am so tired! I just want to sleep! Sleep, self, sleep! Can you try that?' I have experienced quite a few of those nights in my life, and last night was one of them. Except, I don't believe it was me thinking to myself, but rather God speaking to me. I like to pray before going to sleep and say goodnight to The Almighty as I drift off into unconsciousness. Last night, God felt it right to continue the conversation longer than I had anticipated. First, I will give a little background. It will all come together eventually, don't worry.
God is … awesome, amazing, and altogether beyond words.
Jesus told His disciples they would face trials. James says to count it joy when we face trials. I have a great life: I have a great family, I've grown up comfortably in the richest and freest country in the world, no one close to me has tragically died, etc… what trials do I face? That I can't play football anymore because of my size? Sometimes I would wonder if God was setting me up like Job, giving me this great life so He can give me some super-trial to test me. But that's ridiculous; God doesn't take pleasure in harming His children, nor does He want us to live in paranoia, waiting around every corner for some devastation to slam us to the ground. Still, the thoughts would cross my mind.
I have never really led anyone to the Lord (like, I have never been there at the moment someone gives their life to Jesus). Growing up, I felt like I was missing out on an important part of the Christian life, that I wasn't a 'good Christian', and that others who had taken part in the 'harvesting of souls' were more godly than I was. Eventually, I realized (as Paul further describes in 1 Corinthians 3:6-9) that God alone saves; we are just the instruments He uses. Some are specially designed to be better 'soul-winners', some aren't. However, God is the only reason a person is saved; it is only through His power.
I can't say exactly when, but sometime last semester, I started praying for God. I prayed for more of God. I wanted God to pour Himself out on the world. Untamed. Unbounded. Powerful. Awesome. Unrestrained. I just wanted God, God, and more of God. I prayed for Him to move in amazing ways, ways beyond comprehension. I told Him I had no regard for how it might affect me, as long as it was 100% Him. Yahweh. Adonai. The Great I AM. I tried writing a song with a chorus including the phrase 'Flood this place, God!' I was in chapel, thinking how cool it would be if all of a sudden, this gigantic wave of liquid God filled the room and swept all the students out of the gym, bursting the glass windows on all sides, flowing throughout campus, gaining in volume and velocity, continuing to the ends of the earth. That was essentially my prayer.
In the college group at my church down at Biola, Greg Stump, our group leader, had us all write down tough questions we had for God. One of mine was 'Why doesn't God work in miracles the way He used to?' In the Old Testament, God would rain down fire, lightning, and hail from the sky. He parted seas and rivers. The glory of the Lord would shine in the temple, blinding priests; it would hover above mountains, causing the people to fall on their face. Later, Jesus performed miracles, more miracles than can be documented in the Bible. Today, miracles seem so far and few between, and many could be viewed by skeptics as coincidence or urban legend. And that's what frustrates me: those who don't believe in God, believing only in the natural things they see. The scripture that gave me an answer to my question is in Luke 16:30-31, where a rich man pleads Abraham to send someone from the dead to warn his family. Abraham simply tells him that if they didn't listen to Moses and the Prophets, they wouldn't even listen to someone risen from the dead.
God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
So now we get to last night, where it all comes together. As you may guess, I've finally got my 'trial'. God is faithful, though, and His peace has sheltered me beyond what I realize. I'm not altogether sure how God will use this trial, but I trust Him, and it'll all turn out good. However, I do know how God has already started to use my situation. A close friend of Ashley's had been going through some tough times, and doing some major thinking about life. Apparently (I don't know the exact story), when he heard about my cancer, he knew that he needed to get right with God. He gave his life to Christ. I was thrilled when I received the phone call; because of my cancer, someone's eternal soul has found itself in Jesus' arms.
Zap back to 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, knowing that God is the one who saves people, not anything we do. That means that God is moving. God is working. God is answering my prayer. I've only been in this trial for a little over a week; already God has saved a soul. Who knows the extent of what He's going to do through me? I did pray for a flood. When you turn a faucet on a hose, it is twisted and uprooted. But without that twisting and uprooting, the water doesn't flow. God is the water, I am the faucet, the cancer is the hose, and there is a dry field in need of irrigation. How exciting that God chooses to use me for His purposes! God is moving through this, and that is exciting. So exciting, I couldn't get to sleep.
God has a sense of humor, and I have often taken great pleasure in it in healthier circumstances. Now, I'm not going to tell you God revealed to me last night that I will be healed miraculously from cancer. I think that would be exciting, painless, and wonderful. But God is the great Conductor of the orchestra, not me. He creates the master plan, not I. But I do think it is ironic that I was the one to ask about miracles in college group. What could a skeptic say to me if I were a definite, unquestionable miracle from God? Coincidence? I have seen the cancer on my liver myself. Were it to not be there one day, before any treatment or anything, what could explain it? I realize others have had this happen, and for that I praise God, but I don't really know any of them; it's hearsay for me, and skeptics aren't fond of hearsay. With my own body being the miracle, I believe I could have a stronger voice for the testimony of the power of God. Again, Luke 16:30-31 reminds us that some won't even be persuaded with miracles, but like I said, God has a sense of humor.
When one goes through cancer, it's pretty obvious that it's a significant point in that's person's life. Hey, even these very years of my life (20 years old, halfway through college) are significant. But with all these things coming together right now, and especially in light of God starting to move in the ways He has, and the ways He will continue to move, this is an extremely significant time in my life! No wonder I couldn't sleep! Right now, I can do few things. I can only wait for God to move more, to pour Himself out more, to watch it all happen in awe. I can only seek Him more, lean on Him more, study Him more, grow closer to Him.
I want God, God, and more of God. And He is here. And moving. And it's exciting. So exciting that I can't sleep.
Dan
i will forward any email to him:
rjhowen@sbcglobal.net
or our address:
1008 vienna dr, lodi, ca 95242
read and be challenged, i know i am
Insight into my life right now
Current mood: excited
Category: Life
God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.
Do you ever go to bed at night, but then your brain decides not to let you sleep because you're thinking too much, and you're thinking to yourself, 'I am so tired! I just want to sleep! Sleep, self, sleep! Can you try that?' I have experienced quite a few of those nights in my life, and last night was one of them. Except, I don't believe it was me thinking to myself, but rather God speaking to me. I like to pray before going to sleep and say goodnight to The Almighty as I drift off into unconsciousness. Last night, God felt it right to continue the conversation longer than I had anticipated. First, I will give a little background. It will all come together eventually, don't worry.
God is … awesome, amazing, and altogether beyond words.
Jesus told His disciples they would face trials. James says to count it joy when we face trials. I have a great life: I have a great family, I've grown up comfortably in the richest and freest country in the world, no one close to me has tragically died, etc… what trials do I face? That I can't play football anymore because of my size? Sometimes I would wonder if God was setting me up like Job, giving me this great life so He can give me some super-trial to test me. But that's ridiculous; God doesn't take pleasure in harming His children, nor does He want us to live in paranoia, waiting around every corner for some devastation to slam us to the ground. Still, the thoughts would cross my mind.
I have never really led anyone to the Lord (like, I have never been there at the moment someone gives their life to Jesus). Growing up, I felt like I was missing out on an important part of the Christian life, that I wasn't a 'good Christian', and that others who had taken part in the 'harvesting of souls' were more godly than I was. Eventually, I realized (as Paul further describes in 1 Corinthians 3:6-9) that God alone saves; we are just the instruments He uses. Some are specially designed to be better 'soul-winners', some aren't. However, God is the only reason a person is saved; it is only through His power.
I can't say exactly when, but sometime last semester, I started praying for God. I prayed for more of God. I wanted God to pour Himself out on the world. Untamed. Unbounded. Powerful. Awesome. Unrestrained. I just wanted God, God, and more of God. I prayed for Him to move in amazing ways, ways beyond comprehension. I told Him I had no regard for how it might affect me, as long as it was 100% Him. Yahweh. Adonai. The Great I AM. I tried writing a song with a chorus including the phrase 'Flood this place, God!' I was in chapel, thinking how cool it would be if all of a sudden, this gigantic wave of liquid God filled the room and swept all the students out of the gym, bursting the glass windows on all sides, flowing throughout campus, gaining in volume and velocity, continuing to the ends of the earth. That was essentially my prayer.
In the college group at my church down at Biola, Greg Stump, our group leader, had us all write down tough questions we had for God. One of mine was 'Why doesn't God work in miracles the way He used to?' In the Old Testament, God would rain down fire, lightning, and hail from the sky. He parted seas and rivers. The glory of the Lord would shine in the temple, blinding priests; it would hover above mountains, causing the people to fall on their face. Later, Jesus performed miracles, more miracles than can be documented in the Bible. Today, miracles seem so far and few between, and many could be viewed by skeptics as coincidence or urban legend. And that's what frustrates me: those who don't believe in God, believing only in the natural things they see. The scripture that gave me an answer to my question is in Luke 16:30-31, where a rich man pleads Abraham to send someone from the dead to warn his family. Abraham simply tells him that if they didn't listen to Moses and the Prophets, they wouldn't even listen to someone risen from the dead.
God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
So now we get to last night, where it all comes together. As you may guess, I've finally got my 'trial'. God is faithful, though, and His peace has sheltered me beyond what I realize. I'm not altogether sure how God will use this trial, but I trust Him, and it'll all turn out good. However, I do know how God has already started to use my situation. A close friend of Ashley's had been going through some tough times, and doing some major thinking about life. Apparently (I don't know the exact story), when he heard about my cancer, he knew that he needed to get right with God. He gave his life to Christ. I was thrilled when I received the phone call; because of my cancer, someone's eternal soul has found itself in Jesus' arms.
Zap back to 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, knowing that God is the one who saves people, not anything we do. That means that God is moving. God is working. God is answering my prayer. I've only been in this trial for a little over a week; already God has saved a soul. Who knows the extent of what He's going to do through me? I did pray for a flood. When you turn a faucet on a hose, it is twisted and uprooted. But without that twisting and uprooting, the water doesn't flow. God is the water, I am the faucet, the cancer is the hose, and there is a dry field in need of irrigation. How exciting that God chooses to use me for His purposes! God is moving through this, and that is exciting. So exciting, I couldn't get to sleep.
God has a sense of humor, and I have often taken great pleasure in it in healthier circumstances. Now, I'm not going to tell you God revealed to me last night that I will be healed miraculously from cancer. I think that would be exciting, painless, and wonderful. But God is the great Conductor of the orchestra, not me. He creates the master plan, not I. But I do think it is ironic that I was the one to ask about miracles in college group. What could a skeptic say to me if I were a definite, unquestionable miracle from God? Coincidence? I have seen the cancer on my liver myself. Were it to not be there one day, before any treatment or anything, what could explain it? I realize others have had this happen, and for that I praise God, but I don't really know any of them; it's hearsay for me, and skeptics aren't fond of hearsay. With my own body being the miracle, I believe I could have a stronger voice for the testimony of the power of God. Again, Luke 16:30-31 reminds us that some won't even be persuaded with miracles, but like I said, God has a sense of humor.
When one goes through cancer, it's pretty obvious that it's a significant point in that's person's life. Hey, even these very years of my life (20 years old, halfway through college) are significant. But with all these things coming together right now, and especially in light of God starting to move in the ways He has, and the ways He will continue to move, this is an extremely significant time in my life! No wonder I couldn't sleep! Right now, I can do few things. I can only wait for God to move more, to pour Himself out more, to watch it all happen in awe. I can only seek Him more, lean on Him more, study Him more, grow closer to Him.
I want God, God, and more of God. And He is here. And moving. And it's exciting. So exciting that I can't sleep.
Dan
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